I’m going to take another short break from writing about my dad, but this time it is going to be a happy break. My sister has done this kind of post on her blog and I think it’s oodles of fun, mostly because it’s the only way I can express all of my opinions on the subject, which is celebrity fashion at the 17th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards. (Also, I feel that I am a much better judge than Joan Rivers and the rest of E!’s Fashion Police. I mean really, look at what they wear when they criticize others. Come on.) I’ll be using TVGuide.com’s photos for reference.
1. Okay, I am finally jumping on the Sophia Vergara bandwagon. I used to be like, “Yeah she’s Latina, yeah she’s curvy and loud and wears red. So?” but this dress is phenomenal. The color is perfect and the detail at the waist would make anyone look a whole size skinnier. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up, fine holiday fun (someone please catch that reference).
2. Her Golden Globes look was a thousand times better. This gown would have looked perfect on her if she were her normal tiny self and had some loose beachy waves going on, but this is inappropriate on a pregnant lady. I think I understand what she’s trying to do—“Look guys I’m not ashamed of my out-of-wedlock pregnancy!”—but it doesn’t quite work, and I hate that hairstyle on anyone. I love Nat too much to get too mean here, so let’s move on.
3. TINA! Get it girl! She usually looks so frumpy and weird at these events but this is va-va-VOOM. Hair, makeup, jewels, dress–love it, love it, love it, love it. Definitely in the running for Best Dressed.
4. This is a little more daring than what Jane usually wears and I think it works. Purple looks good on everyone. Maybe she could have spiced up the jewelry a little bit, though, and I am not a fan of the hair.
6. Betty effin’ Draper. I continue to despise you and not understand your fashion choices. It looks like you’re wearing a rusty Oscar statue with a bad 80s hairdo; just because you are thin does not mean you can wear anything. Go home.
7. YUM. I love that he is so much goofier than his Mad Men character. Yum.
8. Amy Adams is absolutely adorable (ha, get it, double a?) so I hate to do this, but I am very disappointed in the dress. That shade of white makes her look incredibly washed out, and the shape is not at all flattering. I enjoy her hair but with that ‘do she should have gone with a sleeker dress, maybe column-style?
9. MUCH better than her Golden Globes all-black-long-sleeves-with-glasses thing. The deep red lipstick is the perfect touch. They look so elegant as a couple.
10. Meh. I don’t get it. She’s almost completely lost her touch.
11. ANGELA—I mean CLAIRE—WHAT are you doing? Is that a belt AND a ribbon? Listen, the ruffles are cute and the shape of the dress is fine, but the pattern and the colors do nothing for you. And who told you to wear your hair like that, you’re not going out to lunch here dear. (But hey congrats on your win!)
12. And Kim Kardashian is at the SAG Awards because…? Has anyone else noticed that she wears almost the same dress to every occasion, and she always has that stupid look on her face? Over it.
13. Fabulous. A bit too casual for an award show?
14. Such talent and not an iota of fashion sense (or personal hygiene, for that matter). Wifey’s (or girlfriend’s?) hair is too flat and it looks like she’s wearing someone else’s prom dress from a few years ago.
15. I truly love this dress, but I cannot STAND when these little starlets wear dresses that are the Same. Color. As. Their. Skin. Ladies, this trend is not okay. I also think Hil’s hair looks much better when it’s short and sleek. (Remember this, though? Love.)
16. Well helllooooo Julia, looking very dramatic and Greek goddess-esque but I’m not sure why you were there either? I am a huge, huge fan of navy blue.
17. No comment. There’s just no point.
18. Hot damn Olivia. Fab color, fab hair, fab everything. What a classy lady—doesn’t she always look great at these things?
19. What. Is. This? It’s unacceptable, that’s what it is. Evidently she is every bit as whacky as the character she plays on Boardwalk Empire, if not whackier.
20. Very tasteful. A tad old-ladyish, but appropriate (how old is she now, anyway?).
21. Unflattering in every imaginable way. Someone give her a hug.
22. Dear God Winona, what is going on here? Did you steal this? Were you just stopping by the SAG Awards on your way to a wedding in Edward Scissorhands-ville? Ugh. What’s happened to you?
23. Hooray for Valerie! Again, it’s not clear to me why she was there, but I love her workout DVDs!
24. Surely Steve’s wife meant to get her hair and makeup done? Can we look a little happier guys?
25. Who is this? Love the dress even if it is a smidge boring.
26. I repeat, who is this? Hate the dress and the hair.
27. She is a dream. A happy, floating-in-the-clouds, rainbow gumdrops dream. (I know what you’re thinking—“Kate, this is very close to her skin color”—but it actually works on her.) This would actually be make a wonderful wedding dress in a brighter white, no? Hmm…
28. Is she seriously wearing a headband to an award show? Way to make Kates everywhere look bad.
29. Gotta love the cute and sparkly. Pretty impractical shoes for someone who’s preggers, but cute nonetheless.
30. The hat is stupid, the rest is boring.
31. Wait, is that a pants suit? Wait, I think I like it?
32. This looks like a shirt from Forever 21 that was elongated into a dress. Who are you?
33. She is tiny. She looks very elegant, though, and a bit Audrey-like ,which always wins me over.
34. I kind of love this. I adore her on Boardwalk Empire and this is a good choice for someone’s first award show (assuming it’s her first), but maybe a less-tousled hairdo would have been a better way to go.
35. Looking so very dapper Artie. No tie? You rebel, you.
36. Who is this? Her dress matches the red carpet a little too much, but I love it anway. Great hair and clutch, too.
37. Neither of these people mean anything to me. He looks sloppy, she looks gothic. Is that a navy blue clutch with a black dress? I can’t.
38. Ms. Michele has made quite a name for herself in the awards show fashion world, and this is another win. Very sexy hair and tan and slinky dress. The skinny gold belt thing is unnecessary but other than that, all-around fabulousness. (This isn’t a Penelope-Cruz’s-little-sister-dress now is it, Erica?)
39. I’m in love with this dress, in fact I’m in love with the whole look. This might be my favorite of the night, possibly of the whole award show season depending on what happens at the Oscars. Wow Mila, wow.
40. Fierce, fierce, fierce, Kyra. She usually wears these long, billowy, jewel-toned gowns so this is a very refreshing change, and the hair and earrings go perfectly with the dress.
41. Adorable as usual. Can we please be friends?
42. No. Just no, Eva. You always used to be among the best dressed but you have completely fizzled out. (Don’t fret, you still have a gorgeous face.)
43. Whoever this is I dislike everything about her look.
44. Wowza! I didn’t see this during the preshow or the ceremony but I love it—sexy but tasteful enough for an older woman. (Who remembers her in Cruel Intentions? “Keep your legs together, this isn’t Jamaica!”)
45. I enjoy her hair but the dress is ill-fitting and too shiny.
46. She’s still got it. Great color, fierce hair, she doesn’t really need the necklace but who cares when you’re Susan Sarandon? (PS I actually saw her recently in NYC outside the premiere of Pee-wee Herman on Broadway. I was so starstruck!)
47. And who is this adorable little man? Excellent choice of bow tie, and he is clearly haming it up.
48. Um, no. That is a tankini bathing suit top with a ballet class skirt and some sweet-16-looking shoes. Who is this?
49. I DON’T want to be mean and make fun of a little kid, but come on. Velvet? Great shoes though. Okay, fine, she looks cute. Next.
50. The structure of the top part of the dress is slightly awkward, but the overall look is nice. Good color.
51. I don’t like the competing patterns on the shirt and the tie. (Who is this?)
52. This is another one of those dresses that’s too close to the color of her skin and hair, but I love the style of both. She’s just so cute.
53. Why was Taye Diggs there? I have almost no opinion on his outfit except that he looks a little dorky. Men’s clothes are so boring, why are their pictures even in here?
54. Wow, excellent color. The black and pink complement each other so well. She should have gone with a different hairstyle.
55. Another Glee girl win. I am so obsessed with Diana’s hair and makeup that I almost don’t notice the awkward length of her dress. I do love that navy blue though.
56. This is the perfect look for a young TV actress at one of her first award shows. It’s simple, it’s elegant, it’s a color we rarely see, and her hair, makeup and jewels match perfectly. It’s actually something I would wear.
57. Fab-u-lous. She is so good at dressing for her figure, and that hot pink lip color is the perfect addition.
58. You know you’re not actually Mark Zuckerberg, Jesse. You can give a little smile, and you need to step up your interviewee skills.
59. Jenna is the only Glee gal I feel still needs help in the award show fashion department. This is quite an improvement from other looks, but she’s not quite there yet. Maybe it’s just the necklace that’s throwing me off.
60. I’m not sure who this is but I like the dress (there’s that navy blue again!). I feel like it’s a combination of what Mila Kunis and Amy Adams wore to the Golden Globes?
61. Cute and age-appropriate, but she should have gone with a different color because the white makes her look washed out. (WHO are all these people and since when don’t I know everyone at award shows?!)
62. This is awful. Is she the True Grit girl? If so, her was Golden Globes dress way better.
64. Cute? Who IS THIS?
65. I’m really getting worried about how many people I don’t recognize. They look lovely, though.
66. Now that’s a dress. She has a sickeningly nice body and this color looks fantastic with her skin and hair, but if she wanted to do something so different than her usual look she should have let her hair down and worn it loose, perhaps with some more bling.
67. Women in suits: Not okay. Only Ellen Degeneres and Diane Keaton are allowed to do that.
68. Boring, but I suppose Giuliana needs to blend into the background so she doesn’t overshadow the real stars. Ha, as if she even could.
69. Very handsome.
70. Oooohh I like this. So what if it’s a little mermaid-y?
71. Eh. No.
And Best Dressed goes to…
It’s a tie between Mila Kunis, Tina Fey, and Heather Morris, with Kyra Sedgwick coming in as a very close second. What do you all think?