Boy oh boy there were oodles of important life lessons in last night’s episode of Real World XXV: Las Vegas, it was like a video manual of how not to behave. Ever. (As usual, don’t forget to see what Donald thinks too!)
1. The definition of “being single” is not “breaking up with one guy and instantaneously jumping into bed with another”.
Nany sure has a funny way of showing remorse about cheating.
2. If you are skipping around your house and smiling ear-t0-ear mere hours after breaking up with your boyfriend of 6 years, you were clearly ready to break up with him a long time ago.
Again, Nany, interesting behavior for someone who was supposedly so in love.
3. Contrary to popular belief, Las Vegas is not some alternate universe in which you can do whatever/whoever you want with zero consequences.
I am not exactly sure how and/or when it got this reputation, but Las Vegas, Nevada is an actual real place in the actual universe where actual things actually happen and people actually remember them. For the most part. “Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend that’s in Vegas so let’s hook up because it totes won’t count and it’ll totes be like it never happened.” Doesn’t work like that sweetheart.
4. You know you are a true pro at having casual hookups when…
…The night after you have sex with someone, both of you can bring random new hookup buddies back to your in-suite bowling alley for a little late-night double date. That’s the way to do it Naomi and Leroy, that’s the way to do it.
5. Guys: It will not in fact kill you to admit when you like someone.
Adam explains to Mike Mike that he doesn’t care if Nany goes on a date with another guy but he doesn’t want to look like less of a man but she can do what she wants and so can he but blah, blah, blah. All that nonsensical talk comes down to one thing: You. Like. Her. IT’S OKAY TO SAY SO, TO HER FACE EVEN!
6. No female EVER actually means it when she says “I don’t care if he hooks up with other girls”.
We care. End of story.
7. No female EVER actually means it when she says “I’m over it/this/him/you” either.
Yes, we say things we don’t mean. Y’all should’ve figured that out by now.
8. When you become a violent and abusive person after drinking substantial amounts of alcohol, it’s time to stop drinking substantial amounts of alcohol.
Or, you know, any alcohol at all.
9. If you are in Las Vegas for the Fetish & Fantasy Halloween Ball, you should get a little more creative with your costume than a cow, fairy, or sexy referee.
Come ON people!
10. Never drunkenly confess anything you don’t want to have to explain the next morning.
Nany drunkenly confessing at the top of her lungs that she’s been “hit by a dude, like a dude” is…Well, it’s awful, if it’s entirely true. I just hate how she goes “disregard everything I said tonight” because you know damn well she said it on purpose.
You may have noticed that none of these 10 lessons are about Adam’s pathetic, despicable, sickening behavior in regards to Nany and the random blonde girl, and that is because I refuse to even comment on such behavior. Except for that sentence. Okay I’m done now.
Again, don’t forget about what Donald has to say about all this nonsense! Looks like we agree again on a few points, but my favorite characters in order are: Leroy, Mike, Naomi, Dustin, Heather, Adam and Nany (Heather brings nothing to the table, and I do believe I dislike Nany even more than I dislike Adam. #Soannoying).