Erica: We are only a very tiny bit late with this, but I think late is better than never, right?
Erica: So, I hate this dress. I love Jane Lynch, of course, but I hate this dress. I hate it both as an item in and of itself, and also how it looks on her, making her torso look all frumpy and weird. BUT…Her makeup is perfection. And that’s saying something on a night when everyone else went with either Best Lil’ Whorehouse in Texas or Vampire.
Kate: Agreed! That looks like something for someone much younger than Jane, but it would look terrible on anyone I think.
Kate: I am quite impressed by this construction, but um who is she??
Erica: You know, this is the kind of thing that works. Because I am irritated by dresses where your main thought is, seriously, how much double-sided tape is she using, and also I am irritated by the superfluous “i” in her name. Typically, girls are Jaime (from the French J’aime, meaning “I love”) and boys are Jamie (because it’s a nickname for James), and she’s gone with both and that’s just irritating. But I didn’t know who she was before and now she exists in my consciousness so she did exactly what she and her stylist and her publicist want her to do.
Kate: Well, don’t you think her parents went with both and she did not have much of a say in the matter?
Erica: No. I do not think that’s what happened.
Erica: It’s not easy to see here, but I noticed on SNL, this baby got back. In a totally hot way.
Kate: Ian said the exact same thing, which I took very well. I really love this dress and color, I am eh on the necklace, and I wish her hair had been different.
Erica: Really? I’m kind of digging the hair.
Erica: Oh my goodness is she ill? What happened to her head?
Kate: YIKES! HORRID! What is with that length?
Erica: Whereas I’m not so sure I know who she is, but I love this dress.
Kate: Me too! Accessories are too matchy-matchy, though.
Erica: You’re not wrong. But seriously, who is this? She looks exactly like what’s-her-name who played the slutty cousin in The Wedding Singer, but I know that’s not her.
Kate: Apparently she is on 30 Rock.
Erica: Oh! I do know who she is!
Erica: Kate, look out! It’s a peplum!
Kate: I do not have enough time in my day to go through everything that is wrong with this.
Erica: This is one of the first times I’ve liked her red carpet look. Did I tell you I saw her on Bill Maher? She was so fabulous; I was way more impressed with her intellect, charm, and humor than I expected to be.
Kate: But it’s almost a direct copy of Anne Hathaway’s Golden Globes dress which, may I point out, you did not like!
Erica: Yeah, you may have a point. Speaking of whom…
Kate: I admit I do not love this one bit, but I am still reeling from my Les Mis experience so I will refrain from saying anything else.
Erica: I feel like, bra. That is all.
Kate: I would completely and absolutely love this if it weren’t for the necklace that looks it like it came from Claire’s. WHAT stylist allowed that to happen!?
Erica: This was Zoe’s favorite.
Kate: Also kind of similar to Jennifer Lawrence’s, no?
Erica: Not so much. I mean, they both went with strapless and colors that could be described as “dark blue,” but other than that . . .
Kate: Well yea, that’s what I meant.
Kate: “Not a total Betty but a vast improvement.”
Erica: Ha! Yeah.
Kate: What I mean is, she looks much better here than she did at the Golden Globes, but it’s a fairly boring choice and I thought you weren’t supposed to wear dresses the same color as your hair?
Erica: That said, I love the color of her hair.
Kate: I wanted to include her because this is the first time I think she looks borderline-bad on the red carpet. I think the dress is ill fitted, not her usual style and a stupid color.
Erica: It’s a terrible material, is what it is. It’s really cheap looking. And the top looks like if she doesn’t keep her arms in exactly that position, it’ll all fall down. Shoes are kinda cute, if wedding-y, though.
Kate: I am not even remotely kidding when I say I think she wins best dressed of the night by a mile. She looks adorable, I love the color and pattern and length; it’s like a juniors’ Audrey dress. Flippy cute hair, understated makeup (I mean how much should a girl her age be wearing anyway?), no jewelry except for studs, and she is even rockin’ some thick eyebrows a la me when I was that age. I absolutely LOVE it!
Erica: I like you with thicker eyebrows.
Kate: But don’t you love this?!
Erica: Yes! I do!
Kate: I really like this color, but mostly for vacation ensembles as opposed to the red carpet. And if possible, the length/style of the gown makes her look even shorter. And I don’t like her hair. Nice material, though.
Erica: I really feel terrible saying this but I think it’s too young for her. The color and the design are very girlish, which kind of highlights that she’s not so girlish anymore. I don’t mean to be all, “Leave the pretty dresses to the young people, Sally Field, you old bag!” I’m not thinking she should cover up more or anything. I just think . . . yeah. Girlish dress. Pretty. But girlish.
Kate: Do not like at all. Dammit Angela.
Erica: She best exemplified the Vampire make-up choice of the evening.
Kate: I have yet to see anyone who looks remotely good in that dark purple/red lipstick – actresses, models and friends included (sorry if I’m offending anyone, but seriously look in the mirror).
Kate: For reasons unbeknownst to me I kind of love this.
Erica: Yeah, I’m normally against color-blocked evening wear but this is very nice.
Kate: I know it almost looks like an old Jessica McClintock prom dress, but I really like the contrast of the two colors and even the cut of the dress in front, and her hair is very classy. She is quite gorgeous.
Erica: She could have done better with the shoes, though.
Kate: Yes. The darker the blue, the further away you stay from black.
Kate: I don’t really know or care who this girl is (Vampire Diaries? Does that get nominated for things?) but I wanted to include her because she is a very close runner-up for my best dressed. I don’t think anyone with any different shape or size could pull off that t-shirt/column style, but I love how the slits break up the bright color and I love the bright color. And the earrings and the hair.
Erica: Yeah, she’s not well-known to me but she looks really good. She’s extraordinarily pretty, too, if in a “I could totally play Lolita” way.
Kate: Yea, so she and Kiernan win best dressed, and Kaley wins worst.
Erica: Well, that’s it from us for today. But listen, faithful readers — my dad saw something on Colbert Report about some other fashion bloggers who went viral or something and is mad that Kate and I have not. So, to make an old man happy, will you please, if you like our fashion commentary, send this link out to, like, everyone you’ve ever met? Thanks!
Kate: And don’t forget about our own Super Bowl of fashion, the Oscars, on February 24th (post to come the next day or the day after that)!