What Is Wrong With You? (VMAs 2013)

I wasn’t planning on publicly commenting on the atrociousness that was last night’s Video Music Awards on MTV, but I cannot resist the urge to share my opinion on what I think was basically a complete disaster. In terms of fashion, that is.

Taylor Swift

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

She is on her way to a beauty pageant circa 1983? Taylor is a lovely girl with a lovely face, and I’m diggin’ the short hair, but come on with this dress. Did you buy it at Cache or what?

Selena Gomez

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

I can actually appreciate the couture-ness of this dress and what it’s trying to do, I just don’t think it belongs on this 14-year-old (I think she actually just turned 21 but I cannot accept that to be true). I am quite jealous of her hair, though.

Lady Gaga

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Red Carpet

This is very non-Gaga, and it is also not at all what she was wearing for most of the night. Every time the camera panned to her yucking it up with Will Smith and fam she was still wearing her seashell bra and crazy Beyoncé/Shakira wig:


Sarah Hyland

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

Oh dear God no.

Naya Rivera

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

Ummm wow Santana! I don’t watch Glee anymore (RIP Cory), but is she even skinnier? What’s funny is I would completely hate this on someone like Angelina Jolie, but I love it on Naya.

Allison Williams

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

I’m not sure why she’s making that face, but it looks like she put a few pounds back on, which I am thrilled about because she was SCARY skinny in season 2 of Girls. Right? Anyway, I love her!

Shailene Woodley

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

I feel like this is exactly what youngsters like her should wear to a show like this — do I love crop tops? No, but do I think they are more appropriate on her than, say, anyone over 27 years old? Yes. I also adore that skirt and would very much like to buy it.

Deena Cortese




2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Red Carpet

Oh, she must be meeting up with Taylor at that pageant. (Dear Jenni, You are too young to have had that much plastic surgery already!)


2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

She scares me now that she has lost all that weight. The top of this dress is extremely unflattering on her breasts.

Lil’ Kim

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

I could not even believe this was Lil’ Kim when they announced she was coming on the stage, she has a COMPLETELY different face — including skin color — than when she had the purple seashell nipple cover!

Katy Perry

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

Gross. Like her buddy Taylor, she is a very pretty person, but she makes herself look worse all the time. Just because it’s crazy and crazy is your “thing” doesn’t mean it looks good.

Miley Cyrus

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

I desperately need for this train wreck to leave the public sphere, like, a.s.a.p. Her performance absolutely repulsed me, acting like a gosh darn stripper on a show that kids and teenagers watch. She should be ashamed of herself. ALSO, SHE HAS SCARY SPICE HAIR, AND HAS NEVER EARNED THAT RIGHT! And this outfit is stupid.



That’s Ciara!? She looks fab! I’m not a fan of the feathery bell bottoms, but her makeup and hair are to die.

Rita Ora


Again, not really into the feathery bottoms, and this is a wee bit extravagant for the VMAs, but I do not hate it. Which is shocking me as much as it might be shocking you.

Ellie Goulding


LOVE! I have a huge crush on her, I just can’t get enough of her fun little tunes, and I feel like she was so true to herself in this dress/look in general.

Jennifer Hudson


This is not what she wore when she performed, in fact I hated her hair during her performance, but I don’t think I love either outfit. I just know she’s capable of much more:


Alexandra Daddario


My girl Annabeth! …Looking very angry? I’m a bit bored by this, but seeing as how she has nothing to do with music or music videos I’m ok with it.

Danity Kane


Danity Kane is still together? Or back together? Omg are they going to come out with more songs!? Omg are they going to restart Making the Band?!?!?! (Side note: I feel like everyone wore black and white to this thing.)


BEST DRESSED: Ellie Goulding!

WORST DRESSED (And worst person overall): MILEY @$$HOLE CYRUS!



3 thoughts on “What Is Wrong With You? (VMAs 2013)

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