Erica: First of all, Miss Katie Boe, I have a bone to pick with you.
Erica: You did the VMAs without me!
Kate: It was spur of the moment, and I figured you didn’t watch the actual show.
Erica: I almost never watch the show! Can we do them together next year?
Erica: Okay, on to the show.
Erica: Wait. There is no opening number. What’s going on here?
Kate: Yea, WTF mates?
Erica: Dress? Fine. Vast improvement. Necklace? Fab. Want. Hair? My favorite. Nice job tonight, people who dress Cat!
Kate: Yes, she redeemed herself from last week, but I don’t like the awkward length of the dress.
Kate: Sorry, need to comment because I kind of loved Mary’s hair and shirt tonight. Until she stood up and I realized it was a dress.
Erica: Fair assessment. Okay, so they introduce the six dancers, and then we meet the judges – Hi, Jesse Tyler Ferguson! So nice to see you! I saw you on stage this summer in The Comedy of Errors but it was super rainy and we were kicked out of the theater and then we were let back in and then the sound was out and then it started raining again really hard and then everyone I was with wanted to leave so I left but you were great!
Kate: He’s such a cutie.
Erica: And now we’re getting the group number.
Group Number – African Jazz: “Hlohonolofatsa” by Soweta Gospel Choir; choreo by Sean Cheesman
Erica: Now, see, I liked this. I think the costumes make a difference. Simple white costumes with no “ethnic” markers or “wild,” “primitive” accessories make this look beautiful to me instead of racist.
Kate: Yes to the costumes, but I thought the dance itself was a bit messy. I get that African Jazz may be less about being together and in sync than other styles, but everyone looked a little too sloppy for my taste.
Erica: Amy had her cheer face on a little too hard; her motions were more exaggerated than the rest of the group and it looked goofy. And I still miss Makenzie. But otherwise I really liked this; I thought it was beautiful.
Kate: I know, she’s got to stop with that, but then I noticed Fik-Shun was being cheer facey too.
Paul & Season 6’s Kathryn – Jazz: “Tied Up” by Yello; choreo by Tasty Oreo
Erica: Liked the dancing but not so much the choreo.
Kate: I loved this! They were very good together.
Erica: I also thought the design concept was weird. The judges kept going on about the skirt but I just thought there was a disconnect between the look chosen and the song.
Kate: I didn’t focus on the theme, JUDGES, just the dancing. Which I thought was swell.
Amy’s Solo: “Anna’s Theme” from The Red Violin
Erica: Her movements are very frantic. I’m not sure it’s quite fitting with the song.
Kate: Check out her crazy back muscles, though!
Hayley & Season 4’s Joshua – Hip-Hop: “Work Hard Play Hard” by Wiz Khalifa; choreo by NappyTabs
Erica: Wow, it’s been a while, Joshua. I almost forgot how sexy you and Katee were. (I’d post links but YouTube is being funny about it. Did a whole bunch of users have their Fox videos taken down? Is it my computer? I don’t know.) So level with us now – you guys were doin’ it, right? If not, you should have.
Kate: Joshua is too gangsta for Hayley.
Erica: The camera was very swoopy here. I found it annoying.
Kate: Yea cameras were going nuts tonight. What I mean by my previous comment is, she did not do a bad job at hip-hop, but next to Joshua she looked pretty silly.
Erica: See I liked the choreo here but thought the dance wasn’t quite…something. They didn’t seem together to me. Although maybe it was the swoopy camera.
Kate: No, it was her lack of hood-ness.
Erica: Were you excited to see Baby NappyTabs?
Kate: I….wasn’t paying enough attention to notice. *Bad Kate*
Erica: You know, Nigel said something about there is always criticism of who goes home and who stays but it all works out because what a talented top 6, and, you know, this top 6 is pretty good (I like Aaron more than you do, Kate), but I’m not really rooting for any of them. I miss Malece and Makenzie, and if either Nico or Tucker was still in the competition, I’d probably be rooting for him over any of these three. As it stands I suppose I favor Jasmine for the girls but it’s gonna be Amy, and I guess of these three, it’s Paul for the boys but it’s gonna be Fik-Shun. Although my reluctance to root for Fik-Shun has more to do with the judges and less to do with him.
Fik-Shun’s Solo: “Look At Me Now” by Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes
Erica: Do not approve the song choice – or, rather, artist choice – but damn this boy is good.
Kate: He is going to win.
Aaron & Season 8 winner Melanie – Broadway: “Faith” by George Michael; choreo by Spencer Liff
Erica: Seriously, Spencer Liff, what do you have against choreographing Broadway dances to Broadway tunes? Or is this song in some jukebox musical I am not yet aware of?
Kate: Seriously, I was like, when was this song used in a Broadway show? How behind the times am I?
Erica: I have to say, I liked this. And, um…Aaron’s arms…
Erica: I know he dropped her. And that was bad. But…
Kate: No! He’s not that good, guys! He’s so not graceful and clunky, and you know how I said the all-stars had been bringing out the best in the contestants? That did NOT happen here. Ugh I am getting very angry at him.
Jasmine’s Solo: “Amazing Grace” by Destiny’s Child
Erica: The title of the song was longer than that but it confused me and it sounded like “Amazing Grace” to me so that’s what I went with.
Kate: It’s the “outro” on their album The Writing’s on the Wall. Duh.
Erica: She’s so strong and so fluid. I really like her. And I love her mom.
Kate: She’s still not as good as Hayley, in my humble opinion.
Paul’s Solo: “Mamba Negra” by Herecco
Erica: Fab. I think ballroom solos are easier for guys. Nigel’s probably very sad Paul never did a Paso this season.
Kate: I love him, he’s so talented.
Fik-Shun & Season 9’s Witney – Foxtrot: “Sexy Silk” by Jessie J; choreo by Jonathan Roberts
Kate: Foxtrot is one word, huh?
Erica: Yeah. I don’t think we’ve seen this choreographer before. And I don’t mind if we don’t again. The dance was so focused on “Witney is a hot sexy mama!” that the parts that were actually foxtrot seemed tacked on. Which, I mean, I suppose watching it is still enjoyable, but then don’t call it the foxtrot. Call it something else that can be more easily tacked on to a “But Witney, seriously, hot, right?” number.
Kate: I noticed that too.
Erica: I wasn’t bothered by him much but if Ballroom Expert Mary Murphy says he didn’t do well, he didn’t do well.
Kate: He was extremely overpowered by Witney, but he didn’t look fumbly and awkward and like he was missing steps. He seemed confident in a few things he was doing, and Mary was right about his lines being good, but then he kind of didn’t do everything he was supposed to.
Hayley’s Solo: “Be Mine” by Robyn
Erica: I think hers was my favorite of the girls’ solos.
Kate: Because she’s the best girl!
Jasmine & Season 3’s Neil – Contemporary: “Unfaithful” from the Unfaithful soundtrack; choreo by Tasty Oreo
Erica: Oh, good, and ISSUES piece.
Kate: Ha, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get behind the hurricane thing. And I’m technically a “victim” of Sandy.
Erica: OMG, Tyce, you are, like, SO sensitive, you know? This pieces was, seriously, SO IMPORTANT. You, literally, you like, saved the world? With this dance? No more tsunamis, people! No more! Never forget to not let tsunamis happen and to prevent them with DANCE!
Kate: Yeah, and there they go again being too literal with the dances and the “message” and the papers blowing all around them on the stage. Why can’t you portray “hurricane” to me without that crap?
Erica: I mean, they danced it beautifully. It’s just that I think Tyce is a version of The Girl At The Party You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With.
Aaron’s Solo: “Use Me” by Bill Withers
Erica: Oh my goodness I could not watch one second of this because the camera angle was such that the bright spotlight over his head was right in my eyes. I’m sure he did fine.
Kate: Oh my goodness I hate tap. It sounds so bad. It just does not work on this show.
Amy & Season 7’s Alex – Bollywood: “Munni Badnaam Hui Darling” from the Dabangg Soundtrack; choreo by Nakhul Dev Mahajan
Erica: This was like the best Bollywood ever.
Kate: It sure was! She is perfect for Bollywood.
Erica: I mean, outside actual Bollywood.
Kate: Holy moly those knee turn things – my quads hurt just looking at them.
Hayley & Paul – Contemporary: “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by Sleeping At Last; choreo by Dee Caspary
Erica: So, first, this song. This was a nice arrangement of this song. I like it in its original form by The Proclaimers. And also we use that tune to do “Hinei Mah Tov” at my Hebrew School and the kids love it.
Kate: I couldn’t tell what the song was for a while.
Erica: Second thing, I think it was a little unfair that Hayley and Paul had to dance together while the other four got to be relinked with their original pairs.
Kate: ? But their original partners are gone.
Erica: Right, but they could have mixed all of them up. Amy dance with Paul or Aaron, Jasmine dance with Fik-Shun or Paul, and Hayley dance with whoever.
Kate: True. But Hayley and Paul were great together, and I was thrilled to see Amy and Fik-Shun back together.
Erica: Third thing, I usually really like Dee Caspary but tonight I didn’t find this piece particularly inspiring. Fine, but not as good as his stuff usually is. But Paul and Hayley did a beautiful job with it.
Kate: Yes, I didn’t feel particularly moved, but I thought they connected very well together because they are both very good dancers. They are the best on the show, but they won’t win.
Erica: How much did you love Jesse Tyler Ferguson mocking Carly Rae Jepsen?
Kate: Lots, she was the worst guest judge since Lil’ C.
Amy & Fik-Shun – Hip-Hop: “Lemme See” by Usher feat. Rick Ross; choreo by David Scott
Erica: Really, David Scott? Your inspiration is “Women be shoppin'”? Can we have another one in the key of “And men never stop to ask for directions!” Then maybe you can do one about airline food or mothers-in-law.
Kate: Shush, this was great.
Erica: I wasn’t terribly impressed with this number, although it was more the choreo than either of them. And my general state of annoyance.
Kate: No, I was so happy to see them back together, they are so together when they are together. He is SO GOOD at what he does.
Erica: And judges, seriously, what was with y’all on this one? Nigel, I’m SO GLAD you brought up Miley Cyrus because that is SO RELEVANT to anything that happened on stage (although I admit, for a hot second I thought Amy might start twerking [yes, autocorrect, it’s a word, and I’m sad about that, too]). Mary, the Tom Clancy quote? I like that quote (“The difference between fiction and real life is that fiction has to make sense.”) but what on earth did it have to do with anything? And Jesse Tyler Ferguson I love you so much but you were not “literally” blown away by anything tonight because look at you sitting right there and all in one piece.
Kate: Hey, no one has been able to not bring up Miley all week, and Mary was making a pun because of “fiction” and Fik-Shun! Ha ha, get it?!
Aaron & Jasmine – Jazz: “Mirror Mirror” by Lord KraVen; choreo by Sean Cheesman
Erica: Now that Sean Cheesman is keeping his pec cleavage under wraps I’m going to start obsessing about his massive neck.
Erica: I hated this. I mean, not them, not Aaron and Jasmine. Aaron’s arms continued to…um…impress me tonight (hey, if Jesse Tyler Ferguson can have a crush on him, I can have a brief evening of attraction, Kate!) and I love his jumps, and Jesus H. Christ, Jasmine’s legs with the what in the hell did she do to make them go like that? But the choreo, the song, the look, everything. Hated.
Kate: Again, we are too literal with the songs and the dances and the “messages”, but this was one of their better routines for me. I still do not think he deserves to be here, though.
Erica: And then Hayley and Paul went home. I am sad but not particularly surprised. Actually I’m a little surprised Paul went home before Aaron.
Kate: I am once again appalled by America, but I admire both Hayley’s and Paul’s non-weepy reaction. They were just like, “Aright, see ya!”
Erica: Well, look, Twitch, who did not win his season, is the superstar forever of SYTYCD. And Joshua, who did win that season, just showed up again now. And Travis, who did not win his season, is a fabulous choreographer for SYTYCD, whereas we see Benji, who did win that season, like, almost never. Kathryn didn’t win her season. Allison didn’t win her season. At this point, making it this far, they will have careers. We are not to worry.
Kate: So help me God, America, if Aaron wins over Fik-Shun………………………..
Erica: That will not happen.