A Little Bit of Waving, Too Much Velvet (Emmys 2013)

Erica: Boy, you guys didn’t even get a chance to miss us, did you? “So You Think You Can Dance” ends, and not two weeks later, we’re going to criticize Cat Deely’s outfit again!

Kate: And criticize we must!

Cat Deely

Emmys_Cat

Erica: Hair? Good. Make-up? Fine. Dress? Almost as bad as anything she wore on the show. Except the glittery jumpsuits. That’s always the worst.

Kate: This would have been completely acceptable without that weird flap in the middle.

Erica: Oh, and guess who else was there?

Mary Murphy

Emmys_Mary

Erica: Hey there!

Kate: Um, is that velvet?

Erica: She looks fine. Her hair looks weird. But not more so than usual.

Kate: Amazingly enough, this is quite understated compared to her usual look. Do not approve of the hair, not many people can pull off those vintage waves.

Erica: We can even critique a couple of dance numbers if you like, but all I have to say about either of them is: Awesome!

Kate: Um except for the fact that even though 10 million (or 5) SYTYCD choreographers were nominated for best dance (yes, that is an Emmys category, haters!) and the STUPID Dancing with the Stars dance WON! So not happy about that!

Erica: I know, right? Something’s wonky about that. But I think I spotted Melanie in the chorus line!

Erica: Okay, I can be done talking about “So You Think You Can Dance” for the year; how about “Mad Men”?

Christina Hendricks

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Erica: Talk about someone who just won the crap out of the genetic lottery.

Kate: Seriously, unreal. She is a best dressed nominee, she’s just so friggin’ phenomenal I can’t stand it.

Erica: Not only does she get to look like that, but she’s bright and funny and seems so nice and cool. There’s got to be some flaw somewhere, right?

Kate: No, she’s an angel. Like Adele but without the voice.

Erica: She said to Ryan Seacrest or possibly Giuliana Rancic that she picked the dress because it reminded her of a John Singer Sargent painting and I just kind of swooned.

(This one, by the way:)

Emmys_painting

Kate: She is a zillion times more beautiful than the woman in this painting.

Erica: My point is she knows what this painting is and uses it as a reference point in her style choices.

January Jones

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Kate: FRUMP! FRUMP! FRUMP! For once in my January-Jones-hating life, I can say the broad actually looks frumpy.

Erica: I didn’t totally hate it. I mean, compared to some of her other stuff.

Kate: Horrible color, silhouette does nothing for her stupid body, and she can’t pull off that hair like Christina can. No siree Bob.

Erica: She does seem like an entirely unpleasant person, though. Maybe she’s just socially awkward.

Elizabeth Moss

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Erica: I love her, I really do. But I do not like the blonde. And I am never a big fan of black and white color blocking.

Kate: Ditto, ditto and ditto – I recently saw her on Watch What Happens Live and am equally horrified and excited by her Housewives obsession, so I do like her as a person, but someone (maybe Andy Cohen) has got to tell her to get rid of the blonde. I agree about the color, but had it been all black and sparkly, it would have been too black and sparkly, and had it been all white, it would have been too bridal, like what Malin Akerman wore, which was not at all OK. So, sorry Elizabeth, but you just lose all around.

Kiernan Shipka

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Erica: Aw! Little Kiernan is growing up! You can tell because it’s the first time I don’t like what she’s wearing!

Kate: What! I think this is adorable. I would actually love each pattern as its own separate dress, and I think her hair and makeup are perfectly wonderful.

Erica: Yes, her hair and make-up are good. And yes, either would be a great separate dress, but together, I do not like. Okay, let’s talk about Modern Family.

Sofia Vergara

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Erica: Looks exactly like she always does.

Kate: Yes, she has worn this exact thing about 1039 times in about 148 colors, with the exact same hair and makeup, and I’m over it. OVER. IT.

Erica: Did you hear Julie Bowen talking about her with Ryan Seacrest or possibly Giuliana Rancic? Apparently, Sofia is not acting in “Modern Family.” They just give her the script and then she reads it as herself and they say, “Perfect. That’s a wrap.”

Kate: No, but that’s impressive, but I continue to hate on her.

Erica: Julie Bowen was pretty funny imitating her speech. Speaking of…

Julie Bowen

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Erica: You know what? Fine. Fine, Julie Bowen. It’s not as horrible as some of your other choices. So fine.

Kate: No, not fine, this is sooo Charlize Theron at the Oscars or Golden Globes a few years ago, and Julie Bowen ain’t no Charlize.

Erica: And also I think you are very beautiful and absolutely hilarious.

Kate: Also, cap sleeves? Seriously?

Erica: Also, are all the actors on Modern Family considered “supporting”? Why is that?

Kate: I’m not sure, I still haven’t given that show enough of a chance.

Sarah Hyland

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Erica: Don’t love the make-up, and I’m never big on severe hair, but the dress is fab.

Kate: Eh, she bores me.

Ariel Winter

Emmys_Ariel

Erica: Don’t much care for it. She’s a lot younger than that dress. But it’s fine. Plus isn’t she going through some serious family stuff?

Kate: What? We are so off today, I absolutely adore this. I kind of want it for myself.

Aubrey Anderson-Emmons

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Erica: Squee!

Kate: I like, wore that when I was 5.

Erica: Hey, where my “Girls” at?

Kate: ….

Erica: Sorry, I had to.

Lena Dunham

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Erica: I try very hard to judge these looks on what they’re trying to accomplish and whether or not they do…I just don’t know. I don’t know what it is she was trying to accomplish. Hipster glam? “I know I’m not as pretty as these other women so fuck it?”

Kate: I think it’s an improvement from her usually pretty sloppy look at these things, but it looks like she is wearing an actual petticoat under there, and I don’t like how she matched her eye shadow to the dress. Too much.

Erica: I did love her and Claire Danes together basically ignoring the presence of Ryan Seacrest and giggling together. That was nice.

Kate: You said you weren’t going to watch the pre-show, and you did! I missed it! Mean to me!

Erica: And here I watched it because you guilted me about not doing so!

Allison Williams

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Erica: Correct me if I’m wrong, but…Isn’t this the same dress Jennifer Aniston wore in red to the Oscars?

Kate: No, there is an obvious difference at the top of the dress. Duh. But Allison is lovely, and her hair is great, and I hope she continues to put on a few more pounds, but her dress bored me. Awesome color, not enough style.

Erica: You didn’t like Jennifer’s either.

Zosia Mamet

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Erica: You know what? I’m not going to complain. She likes to look like a whackadoo and she does and good job to her.

Kate: I just wish the black strapless leather bra were not on the OUTSIDE of the dress.

Erica: Meanwhile, why is Jemima Kirke never around?

Kate: She was at the VMAs!

Erica: Sure, the awards show you covered without me. So our other two HBO faves, Veep and Game of Thrones represented, although Veep has a limited cast and not too many of the Game of Thrones ladies showed up.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Erica: Did she spend so much time on Seinfeld with the poofed up hair that now she wants it as flat as possible? I’d like to see a little more volume.

Kate: I mean, probably. I would like to see her hair up every now and then, or really short like Selina’s, but otherwise this is perfect perfect perfect.

Erica: Yeah, otherwise, she looks fabulous.

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: Ok so I also recently saw HER on Watch What Happens Live too, and she is ALSO a huge Housewives fan. Weird, right?

Erica: Not at all weird. The Housewives are cracktastic. She’s a very attractive woman. She could probably do better.

Kate: I love her hair and makeup. The color of the dress is ok, but the sides are weird and the bottom looks like it wasn’t tailored at all.

Lena Headey

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Kate: Ahem, Cersei looking a little slutty!

Erica: Yeah, this isn’t so much my thing.

Kate: I do like her with dark hair, but the dress doesn’t do anything for me. The white pumps make me gag.

Emilia Clarke

Emilia Clarke

Erica: Not bad.

Kate: Oh I’ve seen her look much better than this – it kind of looks like she just decided to go to the Emmys that morning.

Erica: Yeah, it does.

Connie Britton

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Erica: Hayden didn’t show up, but Connie did. But honestly, she needs a new stylist. The dresses never fall right on her figure and they always look…Second-rate? I don’t know. She never looks like as much of a star as she is.

Kate: Her hair does! This dress is a little too curtainy for me – again, is that VELVET?! – but she’s Connie. I will not speak negatively.

Mindy Kaling

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Erica: Awesome. Love it.

Kate: WHAT?! This disappointed me so much. She has gorgeous hair, why is it up? The color is ok for her, but I hate that thing at the top.

Erica: I liked it.

Zooey & Emily Deschanel

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Erica: I like that Zooey is moving away from her costume-y, quirky looks. And that’s a good color on her.

Kate: Omg I love love love love love the Deschanel sisters they are so freakin’ precious!

Erica: I wish Emily would dress like the young and striking woman she is. Who styled her? Did she get her mixed up with Rue McClanahan? Which, I mean, Rue McClanahan was fabulous, but Emily Deschanel is thirty-six. She doesn’t have to dress like that.

Kate: Yeah, they both look a little 90s pageanty to me, but I like that they coordinated wearing icy blue dresses. Also, Zoe’s hair is absolutely PERFECT. Why couldn’t I look like that with bangs?

Alyson Hannigan

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Kate: Woo woo woo team Buffy! Did you know there’s a new SMG show with Robin Williams and it’s premiering this week? I am so watching.

Erica: I did in fact know that. I don’t know if I’m watching. Sarah Michelle Gellar and advertising? Woohoo! Robin Williams . . . I don’t know.

Kate: Anywho, I think she looks adorable. What a great color. I may have done something different with my hair, and the dress may be a little too big a deal for her, but she’s Willow!

Erica: I love the color. It was popular last night. As was ’40s-glam hair.

Claire Danes

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Kate: I do not like the faux bob. Or the weird boobs.

Erica: No boobs, I think, is the issue; otherwise this dress would have been cute. But why is it “faux”? Is it tucked under or something?

Kate: Yes, it’s this weird stylist trick which I am not a fan of. The bottom of the dress/general material is ok, but my goodness from the chest up she looks all wrong. And stand up straight, Angela!

Carrie Underwood

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Kate: I only want to include her because I am embarrassed for her and her “Yesterday” tribute. I have recently become a fan of hers, but she just did not sound right covering it.

Erica: I like a couple of her songs but I don’t like her enough to be excited that she’s going to be Maria in some sort of “Sound of Music” revival? And how often last night she mentioned her nerves at memorizing lines?

Kate: The dress is o-kay. Too big, I think. Very similar to Alyson’s.

Rose Byrne

Emmys_Rose

Kate: I know she wasn’t nominated for anything but I wanted to include her because a) she looks FAB U LOUS and b) she’s the wife of Bobby Cannavale, the CRAZY man on the last season of Boardwalk Empire AND a character in that depressing-but-very-good Blue Jasmine movie (crap, I have to write a review for that). Who knew!?

Erica: Wow, we are out of sync. I hate this dress.

Sarah Silverman

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Kate: The two minutes of the preshow I actually caught included a neck-up shot of Sarah, at which point I thought she looked absolutely phenomenal. She is quite pretty, especially when she dresses up.

Erica: She said something about the dress being $60 on TV. I want to tell actresses, when the dress looks like it was $60, it’s nothing to brag about. But she’s Sarah Silverman. She’s not playing by the same rules.

Kate: But then I saw the length of this dress, which is totes inappropes for an awards show, and the weird pumps, so I felt less ecstatic about the look.

Heidi Klum

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Kate: I think it’s safe to say that Ms. Klum has indeed lost her touch.

Erica: I think she is a stunning woman but I don’t know that I ever like how she chooses to dress for formal occasions.

Kate: Well, honestly, she hasn’t looked THAT great at an awards show in a while. And her outfit choices on America’s Got Talent are less than stellar.

Erica: She does go nuts on Halloween, though.

Julianne Hough

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Kate: Um, why am I able to see her Spanx?

Erica: I like that she usually has something interesting on, but this is not a good look. And finally, these next ladies are apparently in talks to host the Golden Globes again. I’m crossing my fingers.

Amy Poehler

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Erica: I liked it better during the telecast than in this pic, but I like it. She’s always just a little fashion forward and interesting.

Kate: This confused me – when she was sitting down heckling NPH (great bit, by the way), I thought it was a skirt and shirt combo, so I was like ‘Um, uh oh’, but then I saw it was a full dress. The things on the side have to go, and I normally don’t like cap sleeves or mock turtlenecks, and certainly not put together, but on her? It’s fine. Hair and makeup and earrings are FAB, though.

Tina Fey

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Erica: Well, va-va-voom, Tina.

Kate: Yes, excellent! The only change I might have made to this is putting her hair up – loosely – but what a great cut and color. (PS where is her purse? Does she not need to carry anything to award shows?)

Erica: And I just want to say, I didn’t put a picture of him up because he’s a boy and who cares? But Neil Patrick Harris is a national treasure. He should host everything ever and be on every TV show all the time.

Kate: I think he did a swell job, but not my favorite host of all time.

Erica: Well, I don’t know. Between him, Tina, and Amy…We should send them as ambassadors to, like, North Korea and Iran and whatnot. Have them laugh everyone into putting the nuclear weapons down.

Kate: No need, Dennis Rodman is on it. So best dressed goes to…CHRISTINA HENDRICKS!

Erica: Best in the world goes to Christina Hendricks.

Kate: And worst dressed goes to…

Erica: I don’t know, everyone was playing it pretty safe tonight. I’ve got to say, I just breezed through all of “Scandal” and LOVED it, but what Kerry Washington was wearing tonight was pretty much not okay.

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Kate: Agreed, but worst might have to go to someone we didn’t even mention above but I did manage to see a ridiculous picture of…

Amanda Peet

 65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

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