Kate: And we’re BACK with the 2015 award show season! WEEEEEE!
Erica: Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
Kate: I am a tad upset that I haven’t seen enough of the nominated films. I tried to see The Theory of Everything Saturday and it was sold out…At 2 p.m. What the h?
Erica: Me, I have become very accustomed to the notion of having seen none of the nominated movies.
Kate: And away we go!
Kate: Sooo she was upset about the mess that was Peter Pan live on NBC and went straight to the nearest Christmas store and wrapped herself in red tree skirts and said, “This is what I’m wearing to the first award show this year, guys!”.
Erica: That was a serious mess, yo. The Peter Pan thing, I mean.
Kate: This dress, too. She is a lovely human being, but this is absurd. Completely absurd.
Kate: I know she’s not nominated or presenting, but we have to include the new Mrs. Clooney, right?
Kate: She is related to Anne Hathaway, right?
Erica: What? Really?
Kate: I just feel like they are twinsies. She just looks freaking perfect. In addition to looking perfect, she looks completely over this whole thing, and completely over Giuliana Rancic’s crush on George. She’s so European.
Erica: Yeah, their whole thing is like a romance novel in real life. Well, real-ish life.
Kate: So I actually love this dress, and I feel like it’s a surprising dress for me to love because of the color. I do not love the color against her pale skin and red hair, but the style is soooo me. Like, I have that dress in a darker blue and shorter. So that overrides the color thing.
Erica: I actually like the color on her just fine. And I like the color in general. But I don’t understand what this movie is.
Kate: Her hair could have been a bit more “wow” — she could have gone for wavier waves — but overall this is a lovely, if very safe, choice for her.
Erica: I thought it was safe from the front, but I loved it from the back when she came up to get her award. Congrats, Amy!
Kate: So I love the first dress color. I love it. Power blue, all about it. But the silhouette is so unflattering on her, and the high neckline mixed with the mini-version of Naomi Watts’ necklace (see below) is a terrible combination.
Erica: Is Amy Poehler pregnant? Because, if not, yeah, that’s a really unflattering silhouette. And even if she’s not. Because why must she wear such high necks all the time?
Kate: I thought that, too! She’s not pregnant, though. I just read her book and am filled with all sorts of love for her, and I know she has costume changes throughout the night, so I won’t completely rip this apart.
Erica: Do you have the book? Can I borrow it?
Kate: Sure. What was even the point of wearing that blue dress? Her next one, the purple one, is so much better! It looks fab on her! Keep that on, Amy!
Erica: Yeah? I like it better but I’m sort of bored. Still.
Kate: Third look is ok, second one is still winning for me.
Erica: I will go with that.
Kate: Super cute! Tailored yet loose fit, good amount of sparkle, great hair and makeup and subtle jewelry.
Erica: It’s so grown up for her. Makeup is perfect.
Kate: This might be a best dressed nominee for me.
Kate: ER this is so similar to that one Covet dress, except longer!
Erica: I so very much love this. I don’t think I’ve ever really loved her on the red carpet before. (I love her in terms of acting and singing and all.) This is dreamy.
Kate: So pretty. It’s not my favorite of the night, but she looks fantastic.
Erica: It might be mine.
Erica: I mean, I don’t love it, but it’s very her and in a good way. Previously she’s been very her in a bad way.
Kate: She must be over the whole Homeland/award show thing because this dress so obviously says, “I don’t care about anything happening right now”.
Erica: I think “I don’t care” looks kinda good on her.
Kate: I love! But…Have we seen this before? Like, on her?
Erica: Bra! Which I feel like I say to her a lot.
Kate: YAS! YAS YAS YASSSSS!
Erica: Oh excuse me, I thought someone hated braids?
Kate: Michael Kors made this for her, which is super nice, but he actually made it for me because after the show Emily is dropping it off at my apartment so that I can wear this to the wedding (as dress #2/reception dress, obviously).
Erica: Didn’t we discuss the little midriff cut-out thing with respect to bridesmaid dresses? Totes inapprops for a wedding. But she does look crazy fantastic.
Kate: The turquoise earrings are the perfect accent to the white — a bit beachy, but that’s ok because they’re in California — and her makeup is always good. Yes, I normally hate that hairstyle, on and off the red carpet, but I appreciate that it’s a nod to her Into the Woods character, even though I didn’t like the movie. Oh man I love this dress.
Erica: She’s hilarious.
Kate: I love this.
Erica: I am okay with it? Her hair looks good.
Kate: Hold on, hold ON. Those are pants. I thought this was a dress. But those are pants. This is a jumpsuit on the red carpet, with a big bow on the back. Minus the bow, it is actually one of my elementary school dance costumes, so I take it back: I DO NOT LOVE THIS.
Erica: Yeah! I remember that costume! Mom was totally flummoxed about underwear. Wait, hold up, she’s in Cabaret on Broadway right now?
Kate: Yeah, where have you been, not in New York? 😦
Erica: You think you’re sad? Imagine how I feel.
Kate: I am including this newcomer because I really want to see her movie, and I think her dress is extremely interesting.
Erica: What movie is she in? I like it. I like the color, I like the shape, I like that she kept the hair simple and the makeup very girlish and natural.
Kate: The Theory of Everything, about Steven Hawking, which I tried to see Saturday at 2 p.m. The color is fairly unique for the red carpet, I think, and the structure and detail is amazing — a bit 19th century, in a good way, no? I feel like this is a very you dress, Er.
Erica: Well, thank you, Kate.
Kate: I mean that in a good way!
Kate: Hot damn.
Erica: I mean, she looks hot, as always, but the dress isn’t a little pageanty?
Kate: I feel like it’s not fair to give someone like Heidi Klum best dressed, but she looks phenomenal.
Erica: Well, she started by being Heidi Klum, so that helps.
Kate: I wouldn’t normally include her because I’ll always hate her for marrying Channing Tatum, but — and this pains me — I like the dress too much to ignore it.
Erica: Yeah? I mean, I like the drapeyness.
Kate: It’s the right yellow, you know? And a lovely strapless swoopy silhouette.
Erica: It is a good yellow on her, although not with that hair color.
Kate: I do think her hair is too dark in general. But when they arrived on the red carpet you could see Channing help her fix her hair and blow an eyelash off her face and it was just so cute I couldn’t stand it.
Erica: I was gonna say her hair looks a little dark. I like it when stars go dark — I’m a fan of brunettes — but you have to make sure there’s, you know, tones and highlights and whatnot so it doesn’t look so flat.
Kate: I love that BUN! Oh my oh my I love that bun. Can that be my wedding hair bun?
Erica: It’s quite lovely. I would go a little lower. For your wedding, I mean, not for Jennifer Aniston.
Kate: The dress is nice but does slightly weird things to her boobs, and the earrings are just a touch too long for that neckline. But it’s been a while since she was at an award show because she was actually nominated, so overall I think she looks swell.
Erica: I actually think that, for that neckline, her boobs look pretty good. Did you see that slit when she walked up to the stage? Holy moly, man.
Kate: Additionally, she seemed to be in a fairly foul mood all night. Why do we think that is?
Erica: Really? I was watching her with Carson; she seemed alright.
Kate: Oh that is just so JLo.
Kate: The hair, the CAPE, the jewelry that is basically cut from the dress. So. J. Lo.
Erica: It’s almost like she is afraid we’ll forget who she is. I must say I like her hair.
Kate: Hah, me too.
Kate: Va-va-voom, Jessica!
Erica: Holy moly. Has she ever done the Jessica Rabbit thing before?
Erica: Have we been doing this too long?
Erica: More braids! Happy for me, sad for you?
Kate: I don’t watch Downton Abbey so I don’t know who this lady is, but I really like her dress. I like Emily’s braid better.
Erica: I don’t really watch it. Jason does. I got too emotionally invested and had to stop. But yes, I like her dress and I like her overall gratitude and obviously her accent.
Kate: My girl!
Erica: This is not my favorite on her. In general I like her better in her business suits on her show than on the red carpet.
Kate: It’s a little pageanty, but I don’t particularly care. She’s showing off that fabulous tan and that fabulous body, and rightfully so.
Erica: Her hair looks good. And her shoulders are fantastic.
Kate: Her everything is fantastic.
Kate: Ok, this is Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2011 Oscar dress re-cut with some feathers added to the bottom. Which is not to say it’s not a great dress/doesn’t look great on her, but that’s what this is.
Erica: Gwyneth’s was better. I say this while adoring Julianne Moore and not particularly feeling one way or another about Gwyneth.
Kate: Everyone seems to be doing that deep-side-parted, semi-wavy hair, though.
Erica: Well, yes.
Kate: It’s just not fair that there is a human on this planet who looks like that.
Erica: It’s really not. And she gets to have that accent, too.
Kate: I also think she maybe borrowed this from JLo.
Erica: It’s definitely on the sexy end of things she wears.
Kate: Jesus H. Christ her body is absolutely insane.
Erica: She hasn’t aged at all.
Kate: I don’t even like this dress that much, but it looks so good on her, you know? She does wear white a little too often.
Erica: It does look like a very Kate Hudson dress.
Kate: When she arrived on the red carpet she ran over to Jennifer Aniston to say hi, and then they were interviewed back to back and were excited to see each other again, and I didn’t know those two were friends, so I thought that was kind of adorable.
Erica: I’m not sure why, but that makes total sense to me. That those two are friends.
Kate: Hold on, are she and Kevin Spacey dating IRL? He was very handsy with her during his Ryan Seacrest interview (when he claimed to be wearing JoS. A. Bank, which was hilarious).
Erica: They cannot be dating. Can they? He’s old enough to be her grandfather.
Kate: Well, it’s a good color on her and I always love the way she does her makeup, but the hair is weird and the BELT? THE ORANGE BELT? Come on.
Erica: There is speculation on the internet right now that maybe they’re dating. So, they were not known to be dating before but everyone else is noticing the extreme not-just-friends demeanor of these two tonight. Ugh. Gross.
Erica: Wow, she looks good.
Kate: Because it’s navy and structured it’s a bit too businessy for me, but I like how her hair is loose and sexy in contrast. Overall pretty good, Isobel Stevens! (I’m re-watching Grey’s. Terrible [wonderful] idea.)
Erica: Businessy? I feel like nothing with that neckline can be described as businessy. And I like navy, especially on blondes.
Erica: I love that color, both on her and in general.
Kate: Good, because that’s one of the wedding colors! But her side pony upsets me because it’s so obviously fake.
Erica: The side ponytail — I mean, why have a fake side ponytail when a side ponytail is not really a great formal look? Also, earrings.
Kate: Actually, she kind of looks like a bridesmaid. Which doesn’t mean she looks bad — hey, I want my bridesmaids to look fabulous — but she just doesn’t look like she’s on the red carpet.
Kate: Oh come on now.
Erica: Look, it’s obvious what’s happening here.
Kate: Is that a bib? And are those BIRDS on her dress? BIRDS?
Erica: No, butterflies. But come on, Kate. She’s punking us.
Kate: This is just a big fat NO for me.
Erica: I can’t make up my mind.
Kate: I can: NOPE. Not cute.
Erica: I don’t know, I think it kind of is cute? I mean, it’s not boring, and the silhouette is cool, and I’m not so in love with the side panels and it’s making complete pancakes of her boobs, but her hair and makeup look good?
Kate: Not cute at all. I am officially anti-Kerry Washington on the red carpet, and I would like everyone else to just get over her with me.
Erica: I mean, this is one of the best from her. Great color.
Kate: What she has done to her bangs makes her face look quite scary, and the too-dark makeup job doesn’t help.
Erica: I’m not disagreeing. Actually, I’d be fine with her eye makeup if she had a little bronzer or something. And I like the color of her hair right now.
Kate: The color of the dress is nicer on her skin tone than her usual choices, but the fit is not right. It looks like a tent, but not like it’s supposed to look like a tent. Can we not afford a quick alteration or two?
Erica: Yeah, there needs to be some structure in the torso there.
Kate: Hey look, there’s a human person underneath all that wacky hair!
Erica: I’m so out of it, I’m not even sure what you’re talking about with the hair.
Kate: She actually looks very nice. Separately I’m against pantsuits and midriff-baring tops, ESPECIALLY on the red carpet, but this whole thing together looks sleek and glamorous (minus the silly face she is making in this photo).
Erica: Yeah. I mean, she’s a young, alternative musician, so from her, I accept pants and midriff.
Erica: Oh my goodness that is some craziness.
Kate: I feel like this dress is very her, and the purple is very fun, but it’s not WOWING me at all. I don’t really like her hair more grown out like that.
Erica: I feel like only she in the whole entire world can pull that dress off. I do not like it, but I appreciate its nuttiness and she looks very nice in it. Plus, can we talk about her arm and shoulder situation?
Kate: She actually looked adorable in her glasses when presenting!
Erica: She really did.
Erica: She looks nice.
Kate: Great color on her, but overall a pretty boring dress.
Erica: I like the structure. I mean, I like it on her. I don’t love it as a general rule.
Kate: I should hate this, but I totally don’t. She has worn the same three dresses to award shows for the past few years, and this is something fun and different and very I-wear-what-I-want. I think she looks great.
Erica: I think the dress is feh. I like her hair. I’m sort of liking the makeup.
Kate: I didn’t think Meryl was in attendance because she didn’t do the red carpet, and I don’t even have a photo for her, but she snuck in there in her fab glasses and classic black-and-white dress with a half-cape. Oh, Meryl!
Erica: I think she kind of doesn’t do red carpet.
Kate: And she was the FIRST person to stand up during the HFPA president’s speech. Oh, Meryl!
Kate: Ugh, I wanted more from her. This is, like, baggy and dull. Meh.
Erica: She is itsy-bitsy. This is also going to sound mean, but I’m going to say it anyway: She’s pretty in a very regular-girl way, but she doesn’t even remotely look like a movie star. Or TV star, or whatever.
Kate: I just feel like the whole snake jewelry thing, as well as the whole yellow dress thing, is so been-there-done-that.
Erica: I am with you on the dress. Yellow is not her color and I don’t know why she persists in believing it is. But I kind of like the necklace. I mean, it’s silly, but I like it.
Kate: The silhouette is very nice on her, but I think I’d like the whole thing more without the snake. It’s just too much.
Erica: I think the silhouette is boring. I will say she is aging incredibly gracefully.
Erica: I have to be honest. I’m a little…Bored.
Kate: But you’re wrong. It’s the exact right kind of sparkle, perfectly tailored to her gorgeous body, great hair and jewelry and makeup — best dressed nominee.
Erica: I mean, she looks very nice. I’m not saying she doesn’t. And I didn’t know she and Mindy Kaling were friends. That’s cool.
Kate: I also very much like the dress on Cheryl Strayed (Reese’s date) as a simple, elegant, I’m-the-author-of-a-book-that-was-turned-into-a-nominated-movie look.
Kate: Eh…No. The top cuts her weird in some areas from some angles, and I feel like on the red carpet you need something that looks good from every angle, and the skirt is just bad. It’s also a very blah red.
Erica: Oh, I like the red, but I agree that it looks like the dress might not be cut really well.
Kate: I do love a sleek low bun, which is the other main hairstyle of the evening (or afternoon, for them).
Erica: I want yours somewhere between Jennifer Aniston’s and this one.
Kate: For the wedding, or for when I am finally nominated for a Golden Globe?
Kate: Look #1 is not doing it for me — it’s a jeweled, strapless French maid outfit! Diggin’ the slightly poofed high pony, though.
Erica: That skirt is unfortunate.
Kate: I will give her the same pass I gave Amy because I know they have more than one look tonight.
Erica: Well, her second dress isn’t any better.
Kate: The second dress is just the first look just reconfigured? And I like the hair less. Come on, Tina!
Erica: Oh, I kind of like the second hair. Whatever. These ladies are hysterical. Who cares what they wear?
Kate: WE DO! The third look is silly and great, and probably my favorite of the night (for her).
Erica: Yes. I am enjoying it the most. She looks really adorable like that.
Kate: So, best dressed?
Erica: I mean, I’m really into Anna Kendricks’ princess look. I could go Emily Blunt, though.
Kate: Let’s agree on Emily Blunt, then! Worst dressed?
Erica: I mean, I’m a little inclined to give it to Keira Knightley, but I think she’s punking us, so I’m not sure we should. I might give it to Melissa McCarthy. I don’t like to, because I understand that formal wear for larger ladies is difficult, but I really hated it.
Kate: Nope, let’s go with Keira. Folks, catch us next month for the OSCARS! Yay!