Magic Mike

I hope my taste in movies isn’t being judged by the first two movie reviews I’ve done here. Oh wait, I don’t care.

The first time I saw the Magic Mike preview I knew it would be a masterpiece of epic proportions. For the past couple of months it’s all the heterosexual female population has been able to talk about (that and 50 Shades, which coincidentally have similar themes), the subject of many a Huffington Post or Jezebel article/video.

The opening scene is Channing Tatum‘s bare naked beautiful smooth sexy chiseled delicious body. But that’s kind of where the movie peaks. Like many movies these days the trailer mistakenly gave all the good stuff away and also sort of completely misled the audience. Judging by those two and a half minutes of scenes set to Ri-Ri’s “We Found Love”, wouldn’t y’all think this was basically going to be Burlesque with male dancers? I certainly did, but what I got instead was an odd and somewhat uncomfortable combination of male strippers and “serious stuff”, like drugs. And furniture.

I just feel like they should have gone in one direction, you know what I’m saying? Like, if it was going to be Burlesque with male strippers they should have gone for the gold and made it a movie about how this misunderstood yet unfathomably sexy guy is being used as a sex object/money maker by the club owner and really wants to follow his dreams of making furnutire out of garbage and by the end he stands up to the club owner and leaves the stripping world and gets his own shop where some of his stipper buddies come down and help when they’re not pulling $5 bills out of their thongs. (Okay some of that sort of happens, but not in as corny a way as I would have liked.) If it was going to be a “serious” stripper movie they should have made it much grittier and set it in some place really sad like Atlantic City or Los Angeles, not Tampa. And all the characters should have been struggling somehow with drugs and money and love, not just one or two of them. But the target audience didn’t want to see their struggles, we wanted to see their ABS!

(Side note, this is supposed to be “loosely” based on Channing Tatum’s start to the entertainment industry as an actual stripper, through which he was discovered for dancing/modeling/acting. Do we think he really wanted/still wants to just forget it all and build some weird looking tables and chairs?)

And who won Best Abs of the bunch? None other than Matthew McConaughey, that sexy rom-com veteran who gets weirder by the minute. Best Performer obviously goes to Channing Tatum–you know that’s all him dancing and stunting in movies like this and Step Up? Best Overall Body could also go to Channing Tatum but I’d really like to give it to a sort-of newcomer, a man who should have gotten a great deal more screen time in this film: Joe Manganiello. I feel like Channing Tatum represents my “old type”, very pretty but also very boyish and dumb, whereas Joe Manganiello represents my “new type”, very sexy and rugged and looks like he used to be a football player and could toss you around like a little football and… Ahem. I digress.

Anyway, I don’t think I need to encourage any females to see this because I know they a) already have or b) already have plans to (including my 70-year-old aunt), so I’d like to share some comments from those who accompanied me on this “magical” (pun intended) journey:

Movie Goer #1: Abs = :). Plot = boooooooo. Also, I don’t like that girl’s mouth.

(Oh yeah, there was a girl in this movie. Tatum’s love interest. *Yawn*)

Movie Goer #2: I cried on the inside for the women of Tampa when Mike quit stripping, but I cannot wait for the DVD to come out with extended stripping scenes. Also, so glad that Elvis’ granddaughter is getting work as that cray b!tch Nora. Oh and the movie made me want a pet piggy!

(Oh yeah, there was another girl in the movie: Nora. She did drugs and had a pet piglet. *Yawn*)

Movie Goer #3: Two words: Channing Tatum.

And there you have it.

XXL

I have been counting down the days until I could finally rest my eyes upon the deliciousness that is the Magic Mike sequel, and despite being COMPLETELY devoid of plot it was well worth all $23.94. (Apparently movies are $3 cheaper down the shore, woo!)

Everyone knew it would be hard to capture the magic — hah — of the first movie, especially with Matthew McConaughey now much too serious an actor to participate in such frivolity, but loyal fans such as myself do not give one hoot. Why?

Yea. Basically, Channing Tatum’s character Mike is living his life-long dream of owning a custom furniture company, but it’s not going quite as well as he’d hoped. His old stripper pals ask him to join them on the road to the annual Myrtle Beach Stripper Convention (which I don’t think is a real thing?), and after some initial reluctance he agrees and embarks on the road trip of a (stripper’s) lifetime.

What I liked: Channing. Effing. Tatum. Seriously, there’s nothing hotter than him dancing. And him dancing with Twitch, one of my all-time favorite SYTYCD dancers? It was almost too much for me to handle. Almost. (My fiance, who VOLUNTARILY saw this movie with me because of how much he enjoys the first one, kindly pointed out that Channing is just as good a dancer as Twitch, and his movements actually seem more natural than Twitch’s. Whatever you say, dear, as long as I can drool over both of them.) My favorite moment, besides the Channing/Twitch routine, is when Channing is working on said custom furniture and “Pony” comes on the radio, and he just can’t help but jump into a sexy dance routine in his workshop. OBVIOUSLY THAT WOULD AND SHOULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE CHANNING TATUM! ALWAYS! (Also, I think Channing Tatum now basically owns that song.)

What I didn’t like: I don’t know if I DIDN’T like this, but I was a bit taken aback by the increase in sexuality in this movie as opposed to the last one. Yes, obviously, they are strippers, so, you know, lots of sexualness. But the scenes with them dancing in Jada Pinkett Smith‘s Savannah brothel (really no other word for it) and at the convention are basically porn with clothes on! Also, since the plot (or lack thereof) of this movie centers around the convention and each individual male entertainer’s talents/interests, I was left wanting a whole lot more group routines. I say this about SYTYCD too — the effect of dancing gets kind of lost with solos, and that also applies to male stripping. The effect was not lost, however, in Channing and Twitch’s routine. Oh my god.

So, is this a GOOD movie? No. Should everyone see it anyway? Yes. Speaking of dancing, everyone tune into this here blog on Tuesday, July 14 for the first official post of SYTYCD Season 12!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s